Respect for each other

Respect for each other

I had a meeting with a young couple very much in love this week. Shortly after Christmas I will be celebrating their ceremony with the sacrament of marriage.

 We chatted for a while and then I asked them how long they intended to be married for, with a surprised look, they said ‘for life of course.’


I said, with a smile, ‘of course, but if that is to happen a few things need to happen.

 1)      You need to decide that the option of not being together is now no longer an option.

2)      You need to ensure that there is profound respect between you. Ask yourself the question,

‘am I being respectful to the other? Am I being respectful in my thoughts, my attitude, my action, my secret thoughts? If as you reflect you realise that there are times when you are not respectful, then you make a decision to be respectful.

3)      Do not try to change the other. It does not work. However, do not stop trying to change yourself; not to become someone else but to be your real self, letting go of excess baggage.

4)      Accept the difference of personality in the other. Try to accept that the other may like to do somethings different from you.

5)      The other important area is forgiveness. No one is perfect! Sometimes you need to forgive and move on.

6)      Be the first to reconcile. Do not give the silent treatment and stay brooding too long.

7)      Do not presume that you know all about the other. We are a mystery unto ourselves let alone another. Keep communicating, do not presume that the other ‘can read your mind!’


This young couple agreed that these things are all important.


I wish them well as they share life together and share the beauty and the mystery of each other.


I assured them that there is a third party to this loving union. This party is the living God who promises to be there for them always.

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