I got angry with someone one day last week. I had good reason to be angry, what they did was disrespectful to a number of people. I expressed my displeasure clearly. I used measured language and expression. Yet, I felt some discomfort afterwards about my reaction. Could I have expressed things better to that person, could I have done things differently?
I know that I did the right thing to express my disapproval, there was no question that what the person did needed a reaction. It is how I spoke that I now question. Maybe I did the right thing at the time, maybe what I did was right under the circumstances, or was it?
It is not always easy to know how best to react to things, I am confident that most of us would have experienced some discomfort about our reactions in anger.
I believe that it is always important to review how we communicate. I keep reminding myself to keep reflecting on my interactions.
The ego is a subtle thing and expresses itself under many guises.
Good questions to ask are:
1. Am I just getting things off my chest in my reaction?
2. Am I still bring respectful in the manner of my communication?
3. Could I have reacted more privately and not in front of a third person?
4. Am I still being loving in my reaction?
5. Do I need to say sorry if I have overreacted?
6. Maybe there are times when I can talk to someone else about my reaction and get advice.
I do not want to sound pedantic, however I think it is important that we never stop learning about ourselves:
– It is important that we act with respect, always.
– Respect for the dignity of a person does not mean that I condone their actions.
– It is a free person that can learn from any mistakes that we make in relationships.
– We never fully get there; we are getting there.
– It is a free person that can say sorry.
– We also need to forgive ourselves and move on. Don’t get stuck.
– I pray for wisdom and a discerning heart.
God Bless you today.
Bishop of Darwin